The big stink in Washington

Everyone knows the politicians in Washington stink. The stench is so strong people can even smell it in their homes. This election voters intend to rid themselves of these pests, but in addition to rotten politicians the residents have to deal with stink bugs. They are small insects that give off a disgusting aroma when threatened. It appears our representatives have something in common with these insects as they're threatened by the anger of their constituents. Maybe we could just step on them.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/Stink-Bugs-Taking-Area-By-Swarm-103669344.html

Let them eat dirt!

Gastronomists continually present us with an amazing array of new things to eat. Occasionally disgusting, but now they may have gone too far. Restaurants are serving, and patrons are consuming edible dirt. This is a practice known as geophagy. Dirt is more or less a side dish to accompany your vegetables. Makes sense since eggs come from birds and we eat both. Vegetables come from dirt, so logically we should eat both. There was an old expression about eating dirt that may have been impetus for this new development. I hope not, because there is also an expression about eating shit. One day McDonalds may be offering "Crappy Meals", possibly including a toy dog inside. It's always nice to know where your food comes from.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019612,00.html

McAnus Burger

It seems that inmates are always complaining about the food served in prisons. Recently they struck a deal to have McDonalds provide the meals once a week to remind them of the wonderful world that awaits them when they are released. In honor of their newest customers McDonalds has specially prepared a new sandwich. Already it's a prison favorite.

Are you gellin?

There is a new gel on the market that retails for $175. and it is not made by Dr. Scholl. In fact it is purposely designed to increase a woman's breast size, and is appropriately called "boob job in a bottle". While most doctors are skeptical about it's claims I am not. I once rubbed a gel on a certain part of my body and immediately noticed an increase in size. The jar came in a box, and was appropriately called "boner in a box". The next time I see a large breasted woman I may be tempted to ask "are you gellin".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/beauty/article-1316454/Rodial-Boob-Job-gel-Cream-increases-bust-size-goes-sale-125.html

No sense in buying a newspaper, unless you own a dog.

The Wall Street Journal posted a survey conducted in Arabia about the Ground Zero Mosque. "58% saw it as a project of folly". This was conducted by Elaph the most respected electronic daily in the Arab world. So how is it that the mainstream media has denigrated it's citizens as Islamophobic when the majority of the Arab world agrees with us? More startling was the response over whether the U.S. was a tolerant or bigoted society."The split was 63% to 37% in favor of those who accepted the good faith and pluralism of this country". This was in the aftermath of Pastor Terry Jones plan to burn the Koran! Again the liberal media has demonstrated not only are they out of sync with majority of Americans, but the majority of the Arab world as well. Apparently the Arabs and Americans agree, the media sucks. No sense in buying a newspaper, unless you own a dog.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703743504575493711825224290.html?mod=rss_opinion_main

Danger sign

By now you have probably seen the new symbol for the democratic party. It is strikingly similar to the logo for the D subway line in Manhattan. The Democrats and the D train also share the fact that they are too expensive, too dangerous, and never take people where they want to go.

The boob tube

Elmo from Sesame Street is a pretty lucky guy. Recently Katy Perry appeared on the show, and her boobs made a special guest appearance. Poor Elmo couldn't keep his mouth closed or his eyes from popping out the entire episode. It just goes to show Elmo is more manly than muppetly. No wonder Kermit is green with envy, he got stuck with a real pig. We can now plainly see why television is referred to as the boob tube.

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/09/elmo-got-best-of-guy.html