White Friday Sale

As the holidays approach it seems everyone is having a sale. Macy's, Walmart, and now even Fairfax Cryobank a company that specializes in the sale of sperm. Certainly a gift that is on most every ladies wish list. For those men who have low sperm counts and poor motility what better to stuff your wife's stocking than a potential child with the mind of Einstein and the body of a Greek god.  Every kiss begins with Kay, but every child begins with sperm.

 http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/14/sale-alert-holiday-savings-on-sperm/

Phonography

First there was phone sex, and now there is a new phone app (application) for 1.99 a month that will provide you with a virtual girlfriend who will text you four times a day. I remember when guys used to brag they had sex four times a day. My how the times have changed. The good news is you can't get an S.T.D. from phonography, but you may go blind staring at that little screen. I guess I'll just do it till I need glasses.

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/12/lonely-and-in-need-of-girlfriend-theres.html#links

Cardboard copper

The Czech's have bounced and now their republic is defaulting on it's debt. One solution for saving money was to install cardboard cops at intersections. They figured it would help to reduce violations, but it has not been effective. Some idiot designed the cutout as a female officer in a mini skirt, and needless to say accidents have skyrocketed. The same designer created cardboard firefighters, and of course they have gone up in smoke. My advice is never accept a wooden nickel or a cardboard Czech.

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/12/long-leg-of-law-cardboard-cutout-of.html

Hey Misster

Saw a young lady entering the men's room by mistake at the airport yesterday. I politely said "miss this is the men's room" and she said "f___k off a__hole"! I later found out it was Andrej Pejic a 19 year old male model from Australia. Some have called him a femiman, but next time I'll just refer to him as misster.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/hang-on-dude-looks-like-a-lady/story-e6frf7kx-1225967275441

Give it to me baby

According to Reuters "The very oldest men are still interested in sex, but illness and a lack of opportunity may be holding them back..." Well I would certainly hope so as this is the natural order of things. Can you imagine senior citizens swinging, clubbing, and getting it on in parks and stairways like teens do? What if they wore their pants around their knees exposing their depends and held their crotch while they rap to the ladies. How about them duking it out over cheating hoes? Seniors should just accept the fact that their sex lives are over. Damn, I forgot to refill my prescription for viagra again!

The lost bag

A young man with a large bulge in his trousers arrived at O'hare airport for his flight home, and immediately the T.S.A. pulled him over for an invasive pat down. When the agent accosted his crotch the young man said "Be careful, the last time you handled my bag it got lost"!

Fatty deposits

Most people consider fat deposits unsightly and unhealthy, but for one dynamic duo they are an enormous blessing. Recently these very large ladies have been using their folds of fat to hide stolen merchandise, and were able to score $2,600. worth of goods at one time. It seems those fatty deposits enlarge your waist, and your wallet.

http://www.wacktrap.com/people/stupid-people/tj-maxx-shoplifters-store-2600-hidden-goods-3-pairs-boots-body-fat-rolls