Inflation and deflation

A beautiful French politician named Miss Dati issued an apology for a gaffe she made during a radio show. When questioned about overseas investment she said "I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25% at a time when fellatio is non-existent". She obviously confused fellatio (oral sex performed on a man) with inflation (an economic state of rising price in goods and services). You can't blame her since fellatio inflates a man's penis, and inflation causes a rise in the price of fellatio. Sort of a vicious cycle that eventually ends in deflation for men. Looks like prostitutes know more about economics then we give them credit for.

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-see-some-of-them-looking-for-returns.html#links

No license required

Depressed, lonely, having trouble coping with life? You could see a therapist for a couple of hundred dollars an hour, or you could visit a prostitute. Forty percent of the time high end sex workers say they don't have sex with their clients they just talk. I told my wife the same thing, but she didn't believe me. I guess I"ll have to go to a real psychologist. So what happens when the police bust them? Do they get charged with prostitution even though they are not having sex, or practicing therapy without a license? In this tough economy many workers have had to perform jobs they were not formally trained for. It seems like the worlds oldest profession, is actually becoming a real profession. No license required.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/10/AR2010091002670.html

"Take me to your bleeder"

We give more money to the United Nations than anyone else, and yet they keep bleeding us for more. Then they decided that if aliens visit earth and say "take me to your leader" the leader will be a Malaysian named Mazlan Othman. Ahmadinejad insults us every chance he gets, and now were put at the end of the receiving line when the aliens arrive. Once E.T. meets the money grubbing panhandlers at the U.N. this planet will be blasted into a giant fire ball. Can't say I blame them, but they should have known better than to visit a place called the milky way. One of the definitions of milk is to obtain money or benefit's from. Nobody should travel thousands of light years just to get bummed for spare change. At least their helmets should have been squeegeed.

http://hotair.com/archives/2010/09/26/great-news-un-to-appoint-earths-envoy-to-extraterrestrials/

Look but don't touch

There is a town in France known as "naked city" due to the large population of nudists romping around the beaches. Recently "swingers" those who advocate free sex and partner swapping have also become residents. You would think the two groups would play well together, seeing as they don't mind displaying their assets. That is not the case, and what might be considered a battle of the bulging has ensued. The fact is that while nudists bounce around their body parts like jello, they don't consider it a mating ritual. Look but don't touch really doesn't work well when a large wave throws you on top of a lady bearing all. It does gives body surfing a whole new meaning.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8019627/Nudists-and-swingers-at-war-in-Frances-Naked-City.html

In case of emergency

In case of emergency remove blouse, and take off your bra. Sounds like a bizarre pick up line, but it may save your life. Some genius has developed a bra that turns into a gas mask in case of biological warfare. One cup is for the owner and the other is up for grabs. All those years we tried to get our girlfriends bra off are now easily accomplished with one smoke bomb. These kids today have it too easy!

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/23/emergency-remove-bra/

Polly wants a plea bargain

Police in Michigan received a call that a man was fighting with his pet parrot. The man was attempting to teach it tricks, and it led to a violent altercation. Apparently the bird has a long rap sheet including piracy, and has spent most of his life behind bars. The police decided to charge him with assault with a deadly weapon. This was because he slashed his owner with a curved hook and was hospitalized. Polly has agreed to plea guilty to a mynah offense. As part of his plea bargain he will be singing like a canary for a reduced sentence. He will be the world's first stool pigeon parrot.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/25117348/detail.html

Columbus Circle

President Obama recently stated Mexicans and other groups were here long before America was even an idea. Mexico declared it's independence in 1810 while the U.S. declared it's independence in 1776 so it's hard to believe that could be possible. Maybe he read that in 1492 the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria captained by Christopher Columbus had discovered the New World and he figured they were Mexican. They were actually Spanish, but it is possible Chris stopped by Mexico first to pick up some enchiladas before he circled back. In honor of his voyage we named a major landmark in Manhattan Columbus Circle. Like Chris, many New Yorkers were in Mexico before they came here.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2010/09/21/obama_mexicans_were_here_long_before_america_was_even_an_idea.html