The breast tasting ice cream

All natural free range human breast milk is now available in ice cream form in the U.K. I am not really sure what they mean by free range since breasts don't usually wander around untethered from their owners. It probably means they have a significant amount of exposure to the outside world. Now that's one farm I'd like to visit and perfect my milking technique. To be honest I have a problem with products derived from humans. I certainly wouldn't want bread made from a yeast infection. A womens cherry, well that's one pie worth eating.

http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2011/02/25/for-the-palate-thats-had-everything-breast-milk-ice-cream/

Rope a dope

Rope a dope is a style of boxing made famous by Muhammad Ali. It involves a defensive strategy that wears out your opponent then allows you to easily finish them off. For a female rodeo protester in Chile she was roped because she was a dope. She endangered her life by entering the arena, and had to be lassoed and dragged away like a dumb animal. That's one wild  filly that needed to be broken.

http://barbara.guanabee.com/2010/09/teenage-chilean-rodeo-protester-lassoed-dragged/

Caution: May cause cancer

For all you people who practice oral sex it may be time to give it up and start smoking. A study has found that oral sex is the leading cause of throat cancer for people under 50. I guess people over 50 don't practice it much, although with brittle bones it may be safer than the rough and tumble kind. For people who have performed oral sex on more than six partners there is a eight times greater risk of developing head and neck cancer. All that that bobbing back and forth really irritates the neck muscles. The Surgeon General is considering a regulation that a warning label be attached to all penises like those on cigarette packs. It will be in small print, but will get larger and be more obvious when you fail to heed the warning.


http://dailycaller.com/2011/02/22/is-oral-sex-worse-than-tobacco-say-it-aint-so/

Flushed

I am pretty pissed off at the low flow toilet my co-op installed in my  bathroom. It seems I spend a lot of time flushing and cleaning whenever I drop a reasonably large load. So I am very happy to report that a hotel has developed a toilet that can swallow 18 golf balls at one time. I know that people sometimes go to a hotel to have sex, but I may go just to take a dump. Since I'll be leaving a large deposit I won't have to give my credit card.

*http://www.aolnews.com/2011/02/18/hotel-introduces-super-strong-toilets-able-to-flush-golf-balls/

It (ain't) the real thing

Need a sex change? Well your companies health plan might be paying the $75,000. fee for you soon enough. Companies like Yahoo, AT&T, and even Coke have included trans-gender surgery in their benefits. I am surprised about Coke since their motto was "It's the real thing". Tell that to the guy who is dating a man who had his penis amputated and turned inside out so they could make him a vagina. I wonder what demented doctor pioneered that type of surgery? He's probably the same one who figured out putting water balloons in women's breasts made them bigger. Maybe they left out an "a" in the middle of the abbreviation M.D.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1359279/Want-sex-change-Work-Coke-How-Americas-biggest-corporations-paying-transgender-surgeries.html

Who is teaching who?

In California they are now using G.P.S. to track truants*. Specifically these are students who have at least 4 unexcused absences. Well how about the teachers in Wisconsin who will have been out 4 days come this Mon?  They call in sick, get paid, and then appear on the local news complaining about the governor. So this is the state of the public education system. They teach students to lie by calling in sick when they're not, submit doctor's notes to substantiate they're ill without ever being examined**, and commit fraud by being payed sick leave when they are not sick. Seems like the teachers should be wearing the G.P.S. bracelets not the students. I remember when I was growing up it was the students who played hooky, did the protesting, and broke the law. Who says you can't learn anything in a public school?

  *http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2011/02/18/gps-to-track-truant-students-in-anaheim/
**http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-20/excuse-notes-from-docs-at-protests-draw-scrutiny.html

Public Assisn't

Public assistance cards are similar to A.T.M. cards and can used for food, but you can also use them at casino's, racetracks and liquor stores. That is until recently when this practice became illegal. Can you imagine the audacity of the government telling the people where they can spend their hard wormed cash? They are even considering passing a bill to prevent the cards from being used at strip clubs. I was wondering do the dancers walk around with cards sticking out of their panties instead of dollar bills, or do you slide the card in the slot between their legs? You can just imagine where the change comes out. No wonder money has so many germs.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2011/02/14/colorado-bill-bans-welfare-cards-at-strip-clubs/