Breaking ground for new jobs


The President continued campaigning in his custom made bus, and visited a factory created with stimulus funds in Massachusetts. He had hoped to lay out his plan to create new green jobs when the driver went left instead of right and crashed. Fortunately no one was hurt since the solar panel factory went out of business as soon as the stimulus funds ended*.

Sorry, this bus can only turn left

*http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/15/business/energy-environment/15solar.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

Breath taking

First the White House forced the University of Tennessee to stop selling breath mints featuring the Presidents image with the derogatory name "Dissapoint Mints" on it*. Then Obama told us it was time "to eat our peas" during the debt ceiling crisis**. I hate it when my breath tastes like pea, and I don't have a mint. This President sure leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

*http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/0811/Obama_mints_pulled_from_college_store.html?showall#
**http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2011/07/obama-says-its-time-to-eat-our-peas-and-reach-a-deal-on-the-deficit.html

Sorry Dick

MSNBC suspended Mark Halperin for calling President Obama a dick*. He clearly was wrong. A dick supports reproduction, the President supports abortion. A dick supports hand jobs, while the President supports hand outs. With a dick the stimulus succeeds, with the President the stimulus fails. A dick shoots sperm (useful), the President shoots crap (useless). In my opinion Halperin should apologize to dicks everwhere.

*http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2011/06/msnbc-suspends-halperin-for-calling.html