Polarized bears

Duh I shoulda brought a compass

In 2006 an Arctic scientist claimed he observed several drowned polar bears which ignited a firestorm among the global warming misfits. Now he is facing charges of scientific misconduct*, a euphemism for being a lying sack of shit. You may also remember the U.N. claimed the Himalayan glaciers would disappear by 2035**, another example of scientists talking out of their asses. Regardless of the alleged drowning incident one thing is sure, polar bear populations are either stable or rising. Between the blazing sun and reflective snow the only thing they need for survival is polarized sunglasses.

*http://news.yahoo.com/apnewsbreak-arctic-scientist-under-investigation-082217993.html
**http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2010/jan/20/himalayan-glaciers-melt-claims-false-ipcc

Ancient Aliens, and Modern Idiots



The History channel, probing for truth

There is a show on television called Ancient Aliens where scientists theorize that extraterrestrials visited our planet in the past. They believe that pyramid building, mathematical formulas, and massive excavations were a byproduct of alien intelligence and intervention. Interestingly they quote many of the bible's verses, especially where Elijah is taken up into heaven in a chariot of fire in 2 Kings 2:1 and say it describes a spaceship. These are the same morons who claim the bible is mythology and then quote it to bolster their theories! They believe an advanced race of super intelligent non-humans came to earth and helped create or influenced humans then left. Amazing since the bible claims a super intelligent non-human came to earth, created man, influenced him, and then left. Maybe I'll use their quotes to bolster my beliefs, but that wouldn't be scientific would it?

Give piece a chance

Give piece a chance

Islamic extremists in the U.K. have set up Shariah controlled zones*. These designated areas allow no drinking, no prostitution, no smoking, gambling, drugs, or porn. You will be allowed to perform female genital mutilation on your daughters, amputate the limbs of thieves, behead infidels, and stone adulterers. I guess it truly is a religion of piece. They remove parts of you piece by piece then they bury you under a pile of rocks. R.I.P.

*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2019547/Anjem-Choudary-Islamic-extremists-set-Sharia-law-zones-UK-cities.html

Putin out

Vladimir Putin has an army of young women willing to tear of their clothes off to show their support for his return to the presidency*. Big deal, so did Bill Clinton. Well maybe not an army, but at least Monica was Putin out.

*http://putinwatcher.blogspot.com/2011/07/army-of-young-russian-women-tearing-off.html

Summers eve at the beach

"Oh no they got a douche bag"

I remember hearing a while back that urine is a good antidote for cuts, burns, and bruises although anyone who has used it on their eyes or gums might disagree. Jellyfish stings have been a common occurence at beaches lately, and you may have considered peeing on it. Don't since it probably won't help*. Vinegar is a better alternative so if your girlfriend has a vaginal douche it will work fine. Just use it before she does.

*http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/07/22/7142878-urine-doesnt-ease-jellyfish-stings-after-all

Child obese

Director of Children's Services

We all know about child abuse, but now an article in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) has put forth the proposition that obese children should be put in foster care. That's right they will take away your child if you give them another twinkie. The nanny state is the epitome of the wicked stepmother who enjoys taking candy from a baby then taking the baby.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/la-heb-child-obesity-foster-care-20110714,0,7269965.story

I vant to suck your blood

Blood sucking politicians

California is being over run by diseased blood sucking animals*. No I'm not referring to the politicians who are draining the bank accounts of it's citizens, and killing jobs by raising taxes. I'm talking about rabid bats that are infecting humans at an alarming rate. You would think the government would do something about it, but bats are a protected species and can't be harmed in any way. The sheer lunacy of this state is without equal, and explains why it's bat brained representative Barbara Boxer said concerning humans who died of rabies "...those who died, their lives will never be the same again"**.

*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2017791/Californias-flying-horror-Surge-KILLER-bats-stalking-residents-animals.html
**Quote originally attributed to San Francisco earthquake vitims.