Weekend warriors

In N.Y.C. this past Labor Day weekend there were 67 people shot resulting in 10 deaths*. Which goes to prove that our idiot gangsta's can't shoot for shit, especially while their pants are falling down. Since everyone knows it is safer to be a moving target the morons in City Hall decided to to combat gun violence with new bike lanes. This way they figure you could pedal your ass off to dodge the hale of bullets. Now if they could only prevent the trucks from running us over it would really reduce the mortality rate.

*http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Labor-Day-Violence-New-York-City-shootings-129268118.html

It's okay, he's flatter than a pancake,
but there's no bullet wounds.

Deep in the heart of Texass

Looks like this pole is
being over taxed.



Governor Rick Perry of Texas has signed some new laws into effect*. One is that it is legal to shoot feral hogs from helicopters. Michael Moore immediately filed a lawsuit citing the hazard to his health. They also raised the state speed limit to 85 m.p.h. Since there are lots of highways near the border there is no way the illegals are making it across without being pulverized into Tex-Mex road chile. This sounds more like a policy to reduce immigration if you ask me. A really rotten law is if you plan on visiting a strip club you will have to pay a $5.00 tax. Some have referred to it as a pole tax, but I prefer to call it an uncover charge.

*http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/shooting-hogs-helicopters-fishing-hands-five-perry-approved-170245980.html

Oingo Boingo Obama

Uncle Onyango take your sister and get
back in the closet!

President Barack Obama's uncle Onyango a.k.a. Oingo Boingo Obama has been arrested for drunk driving outside the Chicken Bone Saloon in Framingham Mass*. Like the chicken bones that pile up after an all you can eat wings contest there appear to be a number of skeletons in Obama's closet as well. First his aunt is here illegally, and his uncle had a deportation notice against him. Rather than deporting aliens our government would rather deport jobs instead. How about enforcing the law, and putting a damn lock on that closet!

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/08/29/20110829obama-uncle-arrested-dui.html
Oingo Boingo has nothing to do with Onyango, it just sounds better than his real name.

oK-Y bother

K-Y intense helps intensely
dried up prunes

K-Y jelly the lubricant for those sensitive areas has made a commercial featuring lesbians*. I always thought lubricant was for guys who were too selfish to bother with foreplay. It's understandable that age and health may be a factor in a women's normal ability to become lubricated, but I would have thought lesbians would have used an easily available organic remedy. But it's Ok, why bother with that when you can fool mother nature with K-Y.

*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033294/K-Y-air-advert-featuring-lesbian-couple.html

AfricAcorn

Acorn in Africa

President Obama's approval rating has sunk to a low of 38%*. I heard that Colonel Gadaffi had a higher approval rating and they blew up his compound, tried to kill his kids, and are forcing him to flee the country. He was offered safe haven by Robert Mugabe the President of Zimbabwe, and said if Obama needs asylum he is welcome also. It may not be Kenya, but it's still safer than Chicago. Besides they opened a new Acorn chapter and need a president.

*http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/08/gallup-fail-obamas-disapproval-rating-hits-all-time-high/

Arab Spring

The only spring I'm concerned with in the Middle East is the oil oozing out of the ground. The notion that true democracy is flowering in the desert is about as preposterous as planting a garden of thorns and thistles. It's useless except to the mindless dim wits who write for the mainstream media. Who is defending the  freedom for women, gays, and religious diversity? This movements only purpose is to substitute one hygienically deficient despot for another. Maybe they should try Irish Spring instead.


GETS RID OF STINKING DICTATORS!



The Holy book of Al

Nature, the peer reviewed, world renowned science magazine has an article which points to the sun as the primary agent in controlling the climate on earth*. This common sense idea has been known by all peoples, in all places, throughout human history, except to the morons of this current generation.
*http://www.newsroomamerica.com/story/165340.html

and blubbering like a beached whale
 he gave up the ghost 8:17.

The Holy book of Al  7:22
Then Al, who was known by his followers as the messiah, was mocked, and scourged by the angry crowd who claimed he was a liar and a deceiver. They forced him to carry a solar panel on his shoulders and he was taken to a hill of his water view property to be crucified. With his last breath he cried out, my sun, my sun, why has thou forsaken me?


This story is fictitious and sarcastic. It does not promote violence or encourage it. It is not intended to be sacriligious, but point out the difference between a false prophet and the one true savior.
Beef Blogonoff