Fighting tooth and nail

A dentist had a fight with an 85 year old female patient over her dentures. Apparently her choppers were improperly fitted and causing her great pain. Consequently she requested a $900. refund which resulted in him assaulting her. During the tussle she bit him. The dentist was arrested thanks to granny taking a bite out of crime, and even with missing teeth she had a great deal of gumption.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/dentist-arrested-for-denture-battle-394017

A memorable holiday

Memorial day is about remembering those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in defense of their country. So how did we celebrate it? Most went to a barbecue or the beach, but this year it was rob, and beat your fellow citizen to death day. Myrtle beach was inundated with crime, there was a riot in Long Island, Nashville had to close a water park because of fighting, and South Beach in Miami was called a "War Zone". I'm a little confused. Our service men and women died to preserve our safety, and we honor that by going to war with our neighbors. The word holiday is derived from the phrase holy day, and apparently some believe that means to shoot someone full of holes.
http://www.robinashley.com/2011/05/30/urban-weekend-turns-south-beach-into-a-war-zone-police-and-gunmen-shoot-it-out-video/

Don't give up your day job

We were told the world that the world would end on May 21, 2011 by Harold Camping of Family Radio. On Monday the 23rd I saw him on his television show and wondered why hadn't he quit? Thousands of people left their jobs, closed their business, and gave away all their money figuring it would be worthless once the end came. Not Harold, he was smart enough not to quit his day job. He may suck as a prophet, but boy does he know how to suck a profit.

Frankies Fanny

Fannie Mae, but my Fanny will.

Barney Frank enjoyed having his fanny worked over by his gay lover, and as a reward Barney got him a job working at Fannie Mae. This is the company that screwed the fanny of the American taxpayer out of billions of dollars. It's disgusting to think that this menage a trois will leave us sore and broken for years.
http://michellemalkin.com/2011/05/27/barney-franks-friends-with-benefits/

All night long

I just found out a study concluded men have erections 20% of the time while sleeping totaling about 90 minutes, and lasting on average 25 minutes. I knew I was good in bed, it's just when I'm sleeping.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=sex-sleep-and-the-law-when-nocturna-2011-05-20

Mommy what's snow?

According to David Viner senior researcher at the East Anglia Climate Research Unit "...in a few years snow will be scarce, and children just aren't going to know what snow is". This was in March of 2000 and in ten years England had plenty of snow every year except 2002. So what happened when his prediction turned out to be false? He was promoted to head the British Council's Climate Program. In 2007 the E.P.A. concluded "Snow season length and snow depth are likely to decrease in most of North America...". So why did Al Gore state "... heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man made global warming"*. This guy must have been sucking on an exhaust pipe thinking it was a cigar. The title of this blog should be "Mommy what is a snow job", and the answer is every prediction made by the global warming misfortune tellers who propagate psycho-psychic-algoreistic-hysteria. This is a mental disorder that can only be cured by jetsetting around the world, driving in large entourages of S.U.V.'s, and lying through your ass. The only place that emits way too much green brownhouse gasses.

All that CO2 is giving me a headache!

*http://dailycaller.com/2011/02/11/is-al-gore-wrong-on-the-environment-global-warming-is-not-to-blame-for-snow/

Disorder on the Border

President Obama said Israel should return to the 1967 borders. Netanyahu should tell Obama to give back California to Mexico. After all the U.S. can't even defend it's border, unlike Israel who can. There's a saying "with allies like these who needs enemies"? Sounds like the Pres. is bordering on stupidity.