I have been avoiding my dentist for years, but recently he has come up a novel idea to reduce my fear factor. He has hired a young, buxom aide to distract me from the fact that he will be using high powered garden utensils on my inflamed gums and causing me unbearable agony. Like usual I will be open mouthed, drooling like an idiot while trying to make small talk with his busty young dental assistant. My numb lips will be spitting uncontrollably while I garble some inane nonsense like a spaz with Tourette syndrome. Of course she will be disgusted of me as most of woman are, but at least she will see me again at my next appointment. I don't get second dates that often.
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