Thursday, April 28, 2011

Toby Dumas trial ends in acquittal!

Toby Dumas


This is a followup to an article in realdumbassnews* where an 81 year old gentleman had discovered an intruder in his home. When the alleged perpetrator Toby Dumas attempted to steal his wallet he was promptly walloped with a frying pan and lost more teeth than a professional hockey player. At his trial Mr. Dumas was represented by Dick Cochran. He is the son of famed attorney Johnnie Cochran who defended O.J. Simpson. In his closing statement Dick submitted evidence of how the measurements of the frying pan could not have caused the facial injuries to his client. He held it up to the defendants face and said "if the pan does not fit you must acquit". Toby was pronounced not guilty and when pressed by reporters for a statement he said mklkprsjgh! Since losing his teeth he has had trouble speaking, but his wife said she finds his new look quite attractive. It was reported Warner Brothers offered him an undisclosed amount of money for the rights to his story. With his new found wealth he plans to buy property in Maine, and raise miniature donkey's. Toby said it will be called The Dumasses Ranch.

* http://realdumbassnews.blogspot.com/2011/04/81-year-old-man-next-wwe-champ.html#comments
DISCLAIMER: The details of this story are a fabrication by a seriously demented individual.

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