It was reported that evil Wall Street tycoons caused the 2007 "Great Recession" and that our free market economy is seriously flawed. So it is only fitting that capitalists have been skewered and hung over hot coals like uncle Bob's greasy ribs. Needless to say those same capitalist pigs have also enabled the average American "to bring home the bacon" in quantities that is the envy of every nation on this planet. Need proof? Look at how much food we waste every day, better yet look at our waistlines. It is true that many of our citizens are unemployed and are under tremendous pressure, but nothing equals the pressure our denim jeans are subjected to. Day after day size 30 jeans are forced to contain size 36 waists. The San Andreas fault doesn't endure that much pressure. Congress has suggested a move to a European style, heavily regulated economy. I like to refer to it as the "Mediterranean Economic Diet". Not only will you have less money weighing you down, you will have less food and finally lose those last stubborn 45 pounds you've been dying to get rid of. Socialism may be good for some, but for the rest of us nothing matches the exquisite taste of the Capitalist pig: The other white meat, mmm mmm mmm!
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