Zombie Paradise

There is a reason the horror movie "Day of the Dead" was filmed in a shopping mall. It's the only place in the universe where brain dead people can wander aimlessly for hours and not accomplish anything. Occasionally you may see a male mannequin come to life. He is actually human, but has been immobile for extended periods of time while his wife tries on endless pairs of shoes. You may also see other men nodding continuously at their wives. Don't be alarmed it's not obsessive compulsive disorder. It's the bobblehead syndrome, and it is usually cured by a swipe of a charge card. Maybe the reason people spend so much time at the mall is because they mindlessly circle the same area over and over again. You know you can take a mouse with a brain the size of a pea, put him in a maze and he will navigate it successfully the first time. Humans who visit the mall every weekend need the directory just to get from one end to the other. Some evolutionary advantage. It really is a shame that in the movies the zombies always wind up at the mall. Generally they need to feast on brains, and that's the one place they will surely starve.