Inspire magazine

I read that Al Qaeda has a new English speaking magazine out called "Inspire". Like most good magazines it has a cooking section only it's not for food. It feature recipes using chemicals from the local hardware store so you can cook up homemade bombs. A perfect gift for those pesky infidels who keep drawing those insulting cartoons. In the barbecue section you can learn how propane tanks and your old Nissan Pathfinder can be fitted to host a tailgate party in Times Square. There are tips about etiquette, like how to properly behead blasphemers without staining your turban. There is also a love section that teaches you how to woo your intended with dolls and toys. A necessity when courting underage girls. "Inspire" follows in the tradition of great magazines by having a sports section. Here you can learn how to throw a rock like a Stephen Strasburg 100 m.p.h. fastball. Quite an advantage when stoning the local adulterer. It doesn't have an auto section, but does offer camel maintenance tips. After all everyone hates it when they breakdown in the desert. By most accounts this magazine will rocket to number one with a bullet.