Television viewers watch an average of 20,000 commercials each year. They should be reading and studying, but it's important to know that if you have an erection lasting over 4 hours you should see a doctor. So what do you do if it lasts only 3 hours, request a refund? At least I learned something from all those advertisements. After I visit the all you can eat burrito buffet I take Beano to keep my date from gagging. Thanks to depends my bladders drier than a Johnny Carson monologue. Preparation H soothes the unsightly itch and discomfort of my hemorrhoids, and keeps me from being the butt of my friends jokes. Listerine takes care of my bad breath, and Ban deodorant keeps me from smelling like a European. All in all I'm grateful that commercials have improved my hygiene, and my friends are even more grateful. I don't have a sponsor, but if I did I'd pick a personal hair trimmer. As I get older I find I have hair growing in the strangest places, kind of like an mutated Chia pet. Instead of Epilady maybe a product called Epiman from Sears. A three horsepower motor with stainless steel blades that reach deep into cracks and crevices, like a robotic arm on a bomb detecting device. After all no human would dare enter such a dangerous area.
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